Comparison is the thief of joy
Comparison is the thief of joy
Well, kinda sorta but not exactly
Recently I came to an impasse with a trusted individual giving an outside perspective to all the ways in which I operate. Good and bad. The deadlock between us came about when they thought I was drawing comparison too much to others in life. Whereas I feel as though my comparison was wholly and truly justified. Here is why.
The title of this post, Comparison is the thief of joy, is somewhat of a commonplace thing the human lexicon, if you will. And it makes sense only when someone who is doing the comparing has something of depth and worth to begin with. Their house is bigger than mine. Their spouse is more attractive. Their kids more accomplished. They're more talented than me. Whatever the case may be. All the above shows a lack of appreciation to what one already has. However, this saying makes absolutely no sense when the person who is drawing comparisons has nothing at all. Particularly when they have put in the same efforts as others, if not more, towards obtaining a life for themselves. Not just the same quality of life, A LIFE. There is a difference.
Consider this. You're working along with your peers all day. When lunch time comes around, everyone consistently gets the same amount food put on their plates. One day after the next after the next. The same amount of meat, rice, greens, fruit for each individual without fail. But for some reason when it's your turn on line for food to be put on your plate you get a fraction of what everyone else has always gotten. And when you question why, you're told that you have to go to the back to scrub some dishes. Once again when you rightly question why once more, stating that you've put in the same amount of work and productivity as everyone else, you're told to stop comparing yourself to others and focus on yourself. Which makes no sense of course especially when all you want is to be fed when you're hungry. Something that was promised to you from the beginning in exchange for your high quality efforts.
In this scenario, comparison is not stealing one's of joy. Comparison is highlighting a blatant inequality which results in the inhumane treatment of an individual. Therefore, making the act of drawing a comparison valid.
Without comparison, life itself would not work. Things would not be measured. And if things cannot be measured then things cannot be built or understood. For instance, the labor/wage relationship would not exist. Work in exchange for a wage is inherently based on a direct comparison. The employer is measuring the amount of work you've done not only to zero work being done, but by comparing your amount of work and productivity with respect to their other employees. Without comparison, one would not know how much to pay their employees. In turn, workers would not know how much to ask for. A complete break down of the modern labor system.
If comparison would not exist, then human boundaries would not exist as well. There would be no crime, because what is a crime if not an act of comparing a treatment of a person as good to bad? Or let's say that we can distinguish a crime upon a person or entity. But what about judging how severe the crime could be? This would require drawing comparisons to other crimes by using a form of measurement. That is by making a collective human decision based on how the victim(s) suffer in the aftermath.
The concept of greater than, less than, or equal to would not exist. Science and engineering would be non-existent. And I should know because I studied and worked in this field for many years. Where, might I add, the computer hardware company I worked at had departments called metrology (the science of measurement) and characterization (measuring to ensure proper characteristics within a product) where they used measurements and comparison to make sure what we were producing was within specification.
Yeah that's it, within specification. As a human, going through life, how do you know if you are going along the right path personally, professionally, romantically? In friendships and in love. Many times I've had friends and family confide in their concerns for me. Concerns in regard to my direction in life. But compared to what? And why compare on one end, and then tell me it's the thief of joy on the other?
This is all very complex and philosophical I know. However, sometimes such discussions and arguments require depth to fully understand them.
In my opinion, it is completely valid and understandable to question one's direction in life based on comparison. Especially when you've done as much if not leaps and bounds beyond others yet have a fraction of the results. Particularly if one is constantly in survival mode. Under these circumstances, I believe it is rather dismissive to tell someone not to compare themselves to others. It only isn't (dismissive) when the person you're telling that to already has a lot to be proud of. Such as a lot of resources.
It can be a drag when this happens to me. It weighs me down mentally a bit. Knocks me on butt a little bit. But the thing is, when I'm picking myself up from being laid out on my back side for whatever else decided to sucker punch me, I'm not too keen on being kept down there. So, sayings like this are not welcomed in those moments.
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