Recently while cruising YouTube on the TV I came across the following video's:
To really let this post make sense, give them a watch (they are shorts that are only 1 minute each). As you can tell, this young man interviewing a couple of middle aged dudes is getting a glimpse into his possible future. Because he is asking them what it is like to be in their 40's, naturally. Being of similar age to those two interviewed piqued my interest. But, my genuine initial thought was, 'What on earth are these dudes talking about...?' In that moment, I cannot say I related to them. But after having a bit of a think, and re-watching these several times for this post, I still don't know what they are talking about. Well, sort of.
Allow me to explain.
One of them mentioned he felt invincible in his 20's and 30's. Never have I felt invincible in my adult life thus far. And I don't expect to feel this way in the future. Thing is, all the physical and intellectual training I've been involved with over the years, and thus write about, has done nothing but humble me.
During my days as a student in a demanding university, I had my a$$ handed to me almost daily. But complaining was not the vibe, cause I essentially asked for it by applying in the first place. Ditto for my career pursuits as well, but this experience was nowhere near as intense. Not that the man who said he felt invincible in his youth was complaining. I'd venture to say that he was selling himself short a little and could have survived in a more challenging environment. Like one where he was humbled yet still thrived and was a valued contributor.
Keeping myself on a somewhat rigorous exercise regimen since I've been 21 has shown me my limitations all the time. The moment I feel as if I am driving down the highway, to get to the parking lot of the ballpark that represents supreme physical achievement, invincibility, and otherwise an awesome display of physical power. Something that really surpasses my high expectations... BOOM...! I endure some experience which really bursts my bubble. A real healthy dose of humble pie.
Looking back at these two avenues in my life, I feel that being brought down to earth on such a consistent basis is/was a plus in my mind. Dedicating yourself to mastering a craft makes you supremely confident in what you know you can do which is great. But, such pursuits to bolster your faculties will also inherently shine a light on your deficiencies at the same time. Something I see as a vital combination too life for it brings a sense of balance. And balance in and of itself is oh so very important.
Then there was the one gentleman who stated he felt like he is in his mid 50's, rather than early mid 40's. I am not sure how he is saying this since he has never been 55 years old before. Without this reference, such a claim seems moot. Unless he has access to some time machine the rest of the world does not know about. For sure, one can gather he is perhaps alluding to not feeling so spry as he once did. Or to an overall regret for not paying attention to his physical health.
Both of them also stated that perhaps they did not take as much time as they feel like they should have to enjoy the small moments that pass you buy in life. Indicating that they were semi obsessed with money, i.e. working, in their youth...only to realize that none of it matters. But I think part of it does actually matter.
For me, I can't say I was any different. As a junior in college, I worked for a professor of mine in the physics department on one of his research projects. It started off by being trained to use a Transmission Electron Microscope (TEM). The lab I worked out of was filled with graduate students working on their PhD's primarily. Everyone was more experienced, and older, so I stood out. This didn't really phase me at the time for I was just doin' my thing.
Once one of these graduate students and I had a conversation at the end of a session on the TEM. This special type of microscope had to be used in a pitch black room so when I finished, I opened to door a bit. Eventually, he was leaning against the door frame kind of back lit from the main area of the lab as I was still sat in front of the huge microscope with the lights off. When he asked me what I wanted to do after I graduated, I said 'Go to graduate school and continue to study physics.' He replied with some bemusement, 'What do you want to do with it...?' I looked back at him all confused by his bemusement and emphatically stated, 'I want to be a pioneer in physics...' Thinking to myself 'Like, duh...?! What else is there to do...?'.
I was truly baffled that he would think otherwise, or didn't feel the same about his own future. My thought to myself at the time was, 'What else do we do this for...?' You don't get paid that well as a graduate student, you essentially delay your financial and personal growth as an adult for you don't have that much time for a personal life. 'What else would all that sacrifice be for my man... C'mon.'
When I became his age, around 25, I still felt the same. I truly had a problem understanding why any talented man my own age would not want to become the best at what they were doing... Like why not...? For the ladies it was a bit more understandable. Becoming the best you can also means lots of hard work and sacrifice. Like lots of it. And there is no guarantee it will work. Just sort of a blind faith and examples from others before you. A young women who wants children will have to take this into consideration. But the fellas all lackadaisical...?
Some years back, I can remember seeing an interview with Jack Bruce, the legendary bassist most famous for being part of Cream, a legendary rock band from the mid-late sixties. At that time of this interview he was roughly 60 years old, and said back in the day his goal was to be the baddest bass player there ever was. The fastest gun in the west so to speak. He then stated, 'I think I've accomplished that...' Those who are fans of rock 'n roll would not argue with this claim.
Around the same time period, I can also remember seeing an interview with Paul McCartney of The Beatles. Again, when he was looking back in his youth from his 60's. He stated some older gentlemen asked himself and John Lennon if they were trying to write THE new musical standards. Or, timeless, classic songs that generations to come can enjoy. He stated his reply was, 'Yes of course...' With a tone that implied, 'What's the point otherwise...?'
Anyway, you get the picture.
Many many young men are obsessed with professional accomplishments in their youth. This can later manifest into money which means stability and deeper resources. When we are young, WE innately know that putting in a lot of effort can set us up handsomely for our future when perhaps we are less motivated or capable. So I cannot fault those men interviewed whom said they regret working so much. They were merely investing in their future. The natural instinct of many male youths.
However, all this made me recall the following. When I was 27, and on vacation to visit family in Greece I was told something that has stuck with me until this day. Actually, I was leaving the island of Syros by ferry, headed to Athens for a day or two until my flight back to the states so I can return to my university. Just as I was about to board the ferry, during my goodbyes to one of my uncles, he said the following, 'You Americans live to work. Us Greek people, we work to live.' Translation, in Greece (or for that matter any industrialized nation other than the US) people only work enough to support a lifestyle that they have time to partake in after work. In America, our lives are consumed, as in all we seem to do is work with very little free time.
Now, in defense to Americans the average rent for an attractive spacious two bedroom apartment, with balcony, in a really nice neighborhood in Athens is about the same you would pay for a one bedroom located in the rural mid-west. Like, say at least 40 minutes away from the nearest big city such as Kansas City, MO or Oklahoma City. And not just any one bedroom, a generic one located in a drab apartment complex, of which there are many in America. This highlights an issue we have in the states that Europeans, and perhaps South Americans don't have. It is really expensive to live here...so we have to work a lot to afford the basics. It's not right. It's not fair. It's just a fact.
My uncle’s observation is something that I have heard from many other new American immigrants ever since. And does point to the regret these two middle aged dudes have. Perhaps that is something which can ruminate in your mind for a while. Perhaps some young people reading this can heed the warning and demand better work life balance conditions for themselves, their children, and their grand children in the future decades.
That is a whole other topic of conversation. But I want to refocus my message here to another thing that was mentioned. The bit about feeling exhausted all the time. Or analogously feeling older that your numeric age would suggest. I do not feel physically exhausted all the time, which is why I had the initial reaction mentioned above. Once again, thanks to my wellness practices from day one...touch wood. Which is all I write about of course...just as a reminder. So physically exhausted no. Intellectually exhausted no. But my overall spirit, or faith that my own personal future is looking brighter...well sh!t. Exhaustion is just a fraction of what I feel. In fact, this may have been what this guy was talking about if not solely on the physical tip. And I will get into why I personally feel this way in Part 2 to this post.
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